RESPONDING AND REACTING

Response VS Reaction. Is there a difference, really?


Let me share with you what I have learned recently.

Response is defined by the Dictionary as an answer or reply, as in words or in some action, used for variety of reactions. Reaction, on the other hand is described as action in response to some influence, event, etc. So how do we set a line between response and reaction. A friend referred to these two as Two Types Of Answer. Let’s take a look at a practical example.

If for example your wife says

“when are you gonna bring home enough money to feed all the mouth in this household?”

and you answered sarcastically with

“as soon as you start earning your keep!”

or perhaps

“why don’t you wear the pants and why don’t I stay here all day with the kids?”

or something to that effect, you are without doubt reacting to her words. What if you answered instead calmly with

“I know it’s not enough but I’m doing my best”

Then you are responding. Even if you replied in a soft admonishment for her lack of faith, but you made it in a constructive manner with an aim to resolve the discontentment, then you are responding to the situation. As in when your mother says

“when are you going to get a real job and stop sitting in front of that computer all day long?”

and you answered patiently with

“mother, this is work. what may seem as just sitting all day to you is actually work for me”

.. as compared to

“I hope you’d mind your own business, mom. You don’t hear me complaining when you’re sitting all day watching tv!”.

You may say that responding, then, is a stoic response to a provocation. But I’d like to label it as a constructive and logical address to a situation concomitant with patience and calmness. Response can deflect negative situation and turn the whole thing into positive discussion, while Reaction encourages retaliation.

So, how are you dealing with unpleasant situations in your life lately? Are you responding or are you reacting?